By: Sandy Connors

Marriage can be deeply rewarding but also challenging, requiring patience, communication, and compromise. Conflicts may arise from stress, differing values, or life changes, but violence—whether physical, emotional, or verbal—is never the answer. It destroys trust, causes lasting harm, and undermines the relationship. Healthy resolution comes from respect, empathy, and open dialogue, not intimidation or aggression.

A Harrowing Reminder from Jackson Heights

On July 22, 2025, the Queens District Attorney’s Office released a chilling indictment: 50-year-old Jose Lequerica was charged with two counts of second-degree murder for the brutal beating and delayed 911 call that led to the death of his wife, Asli Ak. According to the indictment, Lequerica violently struck his wife in the face, head, and body, left her unconscious, then waited over seven hours before calling for help. She was later declared brain dead from blunt force trauma.

This heartbreaking case is a stark reminder: when relationships deteriorate beyond repair, violence is never the answer. There is a legal, peaceful, and empowering solution—divorce.

The Emotional Toll of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a silent epidemic. While not every marital dispute ends in tragedy, unchecked resentment, control, and aggression can quickly escalate into life-altering consequences—criminal prosecution, destroyed families, and irreversible harm. The emotional weight of a volatile relationship doesn’t just impact the couple—it reverberates through their children, extended families, and communities.

Queens DA Melinda Katz captured this sentiment when she stated:
“Domestic violence is a plague in our communities that must be rooted out at the core.”

But what if more people understood that walking away doesn’t mean giving up—it means choosing a future?

Divorce: A Legal and Life-Saving Alternative

Divorce isn’t just a legal tool; it’s a pathway to personal safety and self-respect. Here’s why choosing divorce over violence is not only smarter—it’s a moral imperative:

1. Avoid Lifetime Consequences

If convicted, Jose Lequerica faces 25 years to life in prison. That’s not just a statistic—it’s the price of one violent decision. Divorce, by contrast, is a legal process that allows both parties to preserve their freedom, dignity, and civil rights.

2. Protect Your Kids

Children suffer the most in violent households. Whether they witness physical abuse or endure the aftermath of a parent’s incarceration, the trauma often manifests as anxiety, academic struggles, or even future relationship issues. Divorce, while difficult, provides an opportunity for co-parenting, therapy, and structure—giving children the tools to heal.

“Don’t kill your spouse. Divorce your spouse—not your kids.”

3. Save Your Money and Assets

Murder doesn’t erase financial obligations—it compounds them. The accused may lose everything: income, home, custody rights, and civil liability exposure to wrongful death lawsuits.

Divorce, on the other hand, is governed by equitable distribution laws. Property is divided fairly, support arrangements are made, and both parties retain legal agency over their financial future. In short, divorce protects your legacy. Homicide destroys it.

Signs It’s Time to Choose Divorce

If you or someone you know is in a toxic or dangerous relationship, consider these red flags:
– Frequent, escalating arguments
– Physical or verbal abuse
– Emotional manipulation or isolation
– Constant fear or anxiety around your partner
– Financial control or threats

Violence may feel like the only outlet in moments of anger or desperation—but there is always another option.

Legal Help Is Available

Every state, including New York, provides resources for people seeking to exit harmful marriages. You can file for divorce on fault or no-fault grounds. Protective orders are available for domestic violence survivors, and legal aid organizations offer support for low-income individuals.

Remember:
– You don’t need your spouse’s permission to file for divorce.
– The law protects spouses from retaliation during divorce proceedings.
– You can retain custody of your children and request financial support.

The criminal justice system may bring justice after the fact—but divorce can prevent the violence from happening in the first place.

Real Cases, Real Lives

Jose Lequerica’s indictment is a tragic example of what happens when rage overrides reason. His wife, Asli Ak, was only 48. Her life ended violently in the same apartment where she sought love, safety, and partnership. The legal outcome will unfold in the courts, but the message is clear:

If you feel you are at a breaking point in your marriage—walk away, file the paperwork, call a lawyer. But don’t take a life.

A Message for At-Risk Individuals

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you are in a toxic marriage, reach out to a family law attorney. If you are afraid to speak to someone you know, call a domestic violence hotline confidentially. There is no shame in asking for help—but there is tragedy in staying silent.

Conclusion: Divorce Is Hard, But Prison Is Worse

Every marriage has conflict, but when love turns into loathing and connection turns into control, divorce is the responsible and legal exit strategy. Not only does it spare lives—it preserves your reputation, your future, and your children’s well-being.

As the slogan goes:
Don’t Kill Your Spouse. Divorce Your Spouse—Not Your Kids, Not Your Money, Not Your Future.

Divorce saves lives. Violence destroys them.

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